Vieques Snook

Here's New Jersey angler Marshall Hespe with a nice snook he caught this week near Laguan Kiani, just off the west end of Vieques. Along with his dad Bill, we fished together for two days in some very tricky conditions, including a torrential downpour on our second morning. In addition to this snook, Marshall also hooked a beautiful thirty pound tarpon by sight casting to it just off Green Beach. Marshall is only eleven years old but he's one of the most focused anglers I've ever had on my boat. He could hit any target that I pointed out quickly and accurately. These are two of the most valuable skills that a fisherman can posess and Marshall had them mastered. He's an avid angler so don't be surprised if you see his name along side some IGFA Junior World Records someday.

Seeing Ghosts

For a beginner, the simple act of spotting a bonefish on the flats is the biggest hurdle on the way to actually catching one. They’re nicknamed the grey ghost for a very good reason. Bonefish are nearly invisible under the best of circumstances and they can appear and disappear in the blink of an eye. They really are the most ghostly fish in the shallows.

The first step in spotting the bonefish is having the proper eyewear before you hit the flats. Even the most expensive frames are worthless without polarized lenses. My personal favorites are the Costa del Mar Fathoms. These are in the upper price range for quality fishing glasses but they also come with a great warranty, so you won’t feel too stupid when you inevitably sit on them. There are several lens colors available but amber is the by far the best for shallow water. If $180 is too steep of a pair or sunglasses there are several less costly alternatives. Even the $10 cheapo shades you find at the tackle shop counter will work in the end. The polarized coatings on these are prone to scratch easily so handle them with care.

Knowing a bonefish when you see one is a big challenge, especially if you’re fishing on your own without having used a guide before. I’ve lost count of the number of times my anglers have, just by following my directions, cast to and hooked their first bonefish without ever seeing it. You simply can’t count on walking out to a good looking flat and expect the tails to start sticking up. Casting to a school of tailing bones is one of angling’s great thrills but it’s a lot less common than the TV fishing shows lead you to believe. Tailing is caused by several factors, especially a low incoming tide and calm winds. Find these two conditions, which can be rare during the Caribbean winter, and you’ve got a nice chance of spotting tails. The good news is that tailing bones are actively feeding, so you know you’re looking at hungry fish.

In most situations you’ll be looking for cruising fish in water at least a foot deep. Add a good twenty knot breeze to the mix and you’ll really need your eyes and brain working together to spot the bones. Movement is always a big giveaway. The best thing to do at first is simply pick a spot on the flat and stand totally still for at least fifteen minutes. Open your eyes wide and take in all that’s in front of you, don’t just stare at the downwind spot where you hope to cast. Once you get a fix on the terrain of the flat, the rocks, the sand patches, the sponges, and everything else that’s stationary, a moving object will jump right out at you.

On grassy flats like those in the Keys or Puerto Rico, bonefish can look surprisingly dark. Their backs take on a deep olive camo pattern that makes them appear very grey or even black from above. On the bright sand flats of the Bahamas they’re an exceptionally light blue-grey or even pure silver. Again, movement is always the giveaway. However, wind and currents can create a tremendous optical illusion in the water. Throw in a lot of anticipation and after a while everything starts looking like a bonefish. Stay in one spot too long and you’ll eventually be casting at rocks and sea fans. These are your dreaded “Wish Fish.”

One way to make sure you’ve found a moving target is to immediately look for a feature right next to it. Is the gap between the two points widening or closing? If it is then you’ve definitely spotted a fish. Now lock on to it and don’t look away. If you’re on a moving platform like a skiff or kayak don’t even blink. Taking a quick glance behind you to make sure your cast is clear will cause you to loose the fish almost every time.

Your final step before you cast is to positively identify your target as a bonefish. All good flats are home to a host of other species that can look very “bonefishy” from a distance. Barracuda, boxfish, and small sharks are the three most common imposters. (Although those three are great fun to catch on their own.) The one thing to remember is that bonefish are almost never stationary except when they stop to feed. At that point you’ll either see them tailing or kicking up puffs of mud on the bottom.

That brings us to our final giveaway. Any patch of muddy or milky water on an otherwise clear flat is usually something feeding. This could be caused by mullet, a large stingray, or a school of bonefish. Anytime I see a basketball sized or larger puff of mud, I cast into it immediately. Let the fly or bait drop to the bottom and begin a slow retrieve. If it’s bones you’ll get a quick hookup since you’ve found hungry fish that aren’t paying attention to what’s happening above them.

There are a whole lot of other factors that go into catching bonefish on your own. When you finally see and can positively identify them, even if they’re running in terror from your clumsy cast, then you’ll be a whole lot closer to actually landing one.

Stuff I Like: Orvis Saltwater Fly Fishing Kit

Saltwater flies are way too expensive. Tarpon patterns for example, both online and in shops, sell for around $5 a piece. This is for a hook, some thread, a couple of feathers or strips of rabbit fur, and five minutes of someone's time. Most saltwater patterns are really easy to tie you can save a whole lot of money by making your own. A couple of my anglers brought this Orvis kit down here with them last week and set up a fly tying desk right in their hotel room. This is a well thought out collection of materials and gear and just about covers everything you'll need for all the established flats patterns. I especially liked the instruction book and they should really sell this as a stand alone item. If you've thought about getting started with fly tying this kit is something you'll want to consider. It's well worth the price and you can check it out on the link to the right.

Pescaderia At Isabel Segunda

The Pescadaria (fish market) in our main town of Isabel Segunda is a really scenic spot around sunset. These are a few shots I took down there the other day just before Happy Hour at Al's and the 6:30 ferry's arrival. I wasn't fishing this night but there were plenty of tarpon cruising under the dock. I'll have a rod with me the next time I head down there. When you hit it at the right time you're almost guaranteed to hook a tarpon off the fishermen's dock.

Adopt This Dog, Part 2

This is Archie and he needs a new home. He's only a few months old and just two weeks ago he was almost dead from mange. My friend Chef David from Tradewinds found him on a beach here on Vieques, completely hairless and malnourished, and brought him home and gave him all the right meds to stop his illness. He's responded amazingly to his treatment and almost all his hair has grown back over the last few days. He's scheduled to be neutered next week.

Archie is currently staying with me and someone needs to adopt him before I fall completely in love with him. He's the size and shape of a big jack russell without any of the hyperactivity. He's a remarkably quiet dog and I haven't even heard him bark once in the last 48 hours. He loves all people and will get along great with any other dogs. He's already housebroken and by the end of this week Archie will be able to sit and fetch, too.

This will be a great dog for anyone, whether you have a huge yard or a small apartment. All he needs is companionship. He follows me around constantly and I can't blame him, considering how horrible his first months of life must have been. He's a really good boy and he needs a home. Help him out and I'll give you a free fishing trip. Call me at (787)435-4833 or e-mail me at gmckee1@hotmail.com. Thanks.

Why Guide?

At least once a week, especially during the depths of winter, one of my customers will look around at the stunningly beautiful Caribbean waters off Vieques and say something along the lines of, “Man, you’ve got the best job in the world.” That’s quite a thing to hear someone say to you.

Obviously I agree with that statement or I wouldn’t still be guiding fishermen after all these years. As far as I‘m concerned, the only other jobs I’d rather have would be F-22 pilot or astronaut. Unfortunately for me, both of those occupations require more brain cells than I‘ve ever possessed, even before the rum assault began back in college. The only bandits I’ll ever be calling out are bonefish at twelve o’clock low.

Being told that I have the world’s best job is actually a little embarrassing, mainly because guiding is something that almost any physically fit person can do. Fishing is not rocket science and humans were poling small boats across the shallows and catching fish well before Christ (not a bad fisherman Himself) was born. Being a fishing guide is easy but being a successful fishing guide takes a lot of work.

Believe it or not, there are quite a few of downsides to being a self-employed fisherman. The main one is pure unpredictability. Guiding is as far from a nine-to-five office job as you can get. There is zero job security in this line of work. The weather or economy can make a season highly profitable or truly rotten.

Here on Vieques our season starts just before Christmas and ends around Memorial Day. Last year was great. The economy was strong and people wanted to spend their money, so I was booked almost every day for several months. This season is much slower since the economy is in the toilet. Fortunately (for me) there’s a very cold winter up north. That means I‘m getting a lot of last minute phone calls from folks sick of watching the snow accumulate and their retirement funds shrink. People can only take so much of that before they either go completely nuts or go someplace warm, and Vieques is definitely someplace warm.

My income is also totally dependent on my boat and its engine, a mechanical device that can and will break down on occasion. Two years ago I had brand new Evinrude fall apart on me. The company refused to honor their warranty and I lost a month’s income fighting to get it fixed. The stress alone was worse than my financial loss. Something as simple as a dead battery or flat tire can cost me half a mortgage payment.

There’s also the physical toll of being in the intense sun and pushing nearly a thousand pounds of boat and anglers around all day long. Skin cancer is a serious occupational hazard, despite all the precautions I take. I finally have good health coverage thanks to my wife’s job but for a dozen years I was completely uninsured. If I fell off my boat and broke my leg, I was screwed. By the way, it was my choice to be one of the “Millions of Uninsured Americans” back then. I was young and healthy and didn’t feel like forking over for the coverage. If I got hurt and couldn’t work, the government wouldn’t have owed me squat.

Finally, and this might sound a little silly, there’s an emotional toll that comes with chartering. Good guides are just as ecstatic as their anglers when they catch fish and even more disappointed when they don’t. The guide’s job is to put the angler on the fish and the angler’s job is to get the fly in front of it. When it all comes together there’s nothing better. Watching someone land a prize bonefish is as good as it gets and we‘ll do anything to make that happen. There’s also nothing worse than seeing someone try really hard and walk away empty handed. Even when the trip doesn‘t work out, the vast majority of anglers are very gracious and well aware that a day on the flats is as tough as fishing gets.

The real reason I stick with guiding is that I like and respect my customers. I’m not at all temperamental when someone paying me good money screws up an easy shot, or even three days worth of easy shots. In fact, I’m the exact opposite, and I pride myself on my diplomacy and ability to teach folks something new if they’re willing to learn it. I’ll never claim to be the world’s best fly fishing guide but I know my business well and could write a book on bonefishing. In fact, I’m halfway through writing my book on bonefishing. Look for it in 2010. In the meantime, come on down to Vieques and I’ll show you what I know about this sport and won’t give you a hard time if you blow an easy shot or two. But do your part and you’ll probably go home successful.

Trashing Our Beaches

OK everyone, please read this carefully. If you’re coming down to Vieques, the water here is perfectly safe to drink. Puerto Rico is not Mexico. Our tap water will not make you sick and you won’t catch any exotic diseases from the food here either.

Yesterday I was out catching bait at Playa Grande when I ran into this group of volunteers doing a beach clean-up for Fish and Wildlife. It was barely noon and they already had the bed of their Dodge Ram pickup overflowing with full trash bags. Playa Grade is one of my favorite beaches on the island and I’ve always bitched about the garbage I find down there. Seeing this was confirmation of a serious problem.

Most of the tourists who visit the island are quick to point out that the locals don’t care about littering, and they’re right, to a degree. Way too many of the folks born and raised here have the habit of tossing their beer or soda cans right on the ground right wherever they finish them. It’s an infuriating sight for those of us who grew up with “Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute” drilled into our heads as school kids. Thankfully, this is finally making its way into the schools on Vieques and the next generation will start picking up after themselves.

But let’s get back to this picture of Playa Grande for a minute. The trash down there is a different story. Playa Grande beach is too far out of town and not good for swimming so the locals rarely go there. The trash you find at the high tide line is what washes up from the ocean currents, and half of the volume of all those trash bags is empty water bottles. Bottled water is an environmental disaster and an unbelievable scam, and the only people who drink it here on Vieques are the tourists. If you see an empty Heineken bottle you can blame a local, but an empty Evian bottle, which is what you see too much of on our beaches, that’s your fault. And why anyone would pay good money for something that is essentially free is beyond me.

So if you’re headed this way and still afraid of drinking the water then buy yourself a portable Brita or something like that. And if you’re still a little spooked, dump half a bottle of rum in your water, alcohol is great for killing germs.

First Bonefish Of March

Angler Kevin Ludwig of Massachusetts landed this small but very welcome bonefish while we were poling the shoreline flats of Ensenada Honda this morning. The sky was overcast and the wind was steady at fifteen knots. This fish was feeding in very shallow water and hit a Puglisi crab pattern as it was leaving the flat.

We're currently in a falling tide pattern this week and that makes bonefishing very difficult. Quick and accurate casts are the only way you're going to catch one fish these fish down here right now. Big single bones are never an easy target, and that's what we primarily have on Vieques. Fortunately Kevin was up to the task and was on target when it counted. Practice your casting before you get down here and you won't be disappointed.

Stuff I Like: The Stressbuster. (Capt. Morgan And Coconut Milk)

Here's the recipe for a drink I call The Stressbuster, and most of you folks need one right about now. I'm probably not the first person to mix this but I beleive it's the greatest drink known to man, since it actually does what the name implies. It's very complicated so take notes. You should also have some Bob Marley or Jimmy Buffett playing in the background before you start.

First, get yourself a bottle of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum. Nothing else will do and don't try to be one of those rum snobs on me. The Captain is great and this is just a simple mixed drink, so save your expensive Cuban contraband for another time. You'll also need at least four real coconuts which you can get at any grocery store these days. Shake them to make sure they're full of milk. Don't even think of buying the canned stuff. It's gross and your drink will suck, so get the real things.

Take everything home and stick the bottle of Captain in the freezer along with a couple of highball glasses or tumblers. Now go grab your most powerful cordless drill so you can punch a hole in each coconut. I use a Ryobi 18 volt and a ¼ inch paddle-bit for this. The drill will cause a good bit of shell material to drop into the liquid so I pour the milk into a large measuring cup and let it settle in the fridge for at least fifteen minutes. Your Stressbuster is almost ready.

By this time the rum will be cold enough to pour in your tumbler over half a dozen ice cubes, just up to the half way mark. Top the rest of the glass off with the coconut milk and just swirl it around for a few seconds. Now dive in and drink at least half of it in one gulp. This part is really important. If you don’t slug it back that quickly your stress will never be properly busted. Just suck half of the damn thing down and forget about the fact that the snow is still falling and the defects in Washington are about to tax you back to the Stone Age. Drink it, for God’s Sake!!! I’m trying to help you out here so get it down quickly!

Alright, that’s better. So now you should feel a lot less stressed. Finish the rest of your drink slowly and make yourself another one. Six ounces of spiced rum is more than enough to fix anyone’s mood. The best thing about drinking a Stressbuster is that it’s actually good for you. Stressbusters are full of complex vitamins that start with a whole bunch of letters that I can’t remember right now, but trust me, they're really good for you. I base this statement on absolutely no scientific data whatsoever. It's sort of like Global Warming, only more fun to believe in, and it has booze in it.

I know that all of this has nothing to do with fishing, but I’ve had a rough week and wanted you to know what I do to cheer myself up after a difficult couple of charters. If this drink works for me after a stressful fishing trip, it will work for you folks out there with real problems. You might even need an extra one, but don't worry. Drinking three of them won't kill you. Cheers.