Why Guide?

At least once a week, especially during the depths of winter, one of my customers will look around at the stunningly beautiful Caribbean waters off Vieques and say something along the lines of, “Man, you’ve got the best job in the world.” That’s quite a thing to hear someone say to you.

Obviously I agree with that statement or I wouldn’t still be guiding fishermen after all these years. As far as I‘m concerned, the only other jobs I’d rather have would be F-22 pilot or astronaut. Unfortunately for me, both of those occupations require more brain cells than I‘ve ever possessed, even before the rum assault began back in college. The only bandits I’ll ever be calling out are bonefish at twelve o’clock low.

Being told that I have the world’s best job is actually a little embarrassing, mainly because guiding is something that almost any physically fit person can do. Fishing is not rocket science and humans were poling small boats across the shallows and catching fish well before Christ (not a bad fisherman Himself) was born. Being a fishing guide is easy but being a successful fishing guide takes a lot of work.

Believe it or not, there are quite a few of downsides to being a self-employed fisherman. The main one is pure unpredictability. Guiding is as far from a nine-to-five office job as you can get. There is zero job security in this line of work. The weather or economy can make a season highly profitable or truly rotten.

Here on Vieques our season starts just before Christmas and ends around Memorial Day. Last year was great. The economy was strong and people wanted to spend their money, so I was booked almost every day for several months. This season is much slower since the economy is in the toilet. Fortunately (for me) there’s a very cold winter up north. That means I‘m getting a lot of last minute phone calls from folks sick of watching the snow accumulate and their retirement funds shrink. People can only take so much of that before they either go completely nuts or go someplace warm, and Vieques is definitely someplace warm.

My income is also totally dependent on my boat and its engine, a mechanical device that can and will break down on occasion. Two years ago I had brand new Evinrude fall apart on me. The company refused to honor their warranty and I lost a month’s income fighting to get it fixed. The stress alone was worse than my financial loss. Something as simple as a dead battery or flat tire can cost me half a mortgage payment.

There’s also the physical toll of being in the intense sun and pushing nearly a thousand pounds of boat and anglers around all day long. Skin cancer is a serious occupational hazard, despite all the precautions I take. I finally have good health coverage thanks to my wife’s job but for a dozen years I was completely uninsured. If I fell off my boat and broke my leg, I was screwed. By the way, it was my choice to be one of the “Millions of Uninsured Americans” back then. I was young and healthy and didn’t feel like forking over for the coverage. If I got hurt and couldn’t work, the government wouldn’t have owed me squat.

Finally, and this might sound a little silly, there’s an emotional toll that comes with chartering. Good guides are just as ecstatic as their anglers when they catch fish and even more disappointed when they don’t. The guide’s job is to put the angler on the fish and the angler’s job is to get the fly in front of it. When it all comes together there’s nothing better. Watching someone land a prize bonefish is as good as it gets and we‘ll do anything to make that happen. There’s also nothing worse than seeing someone try really hard and walk away empty handed. Even when the trip doesn‘t work out, the vast majority of anglers are very gracious and well aware that a day on the flats is as tough as fishing gets.

The real reason I stick with guiding is that I like and respect my customers. I’m not at all temperamental when someone paying me good money screws up an easy shot, or even three days worth of easy shots. In fact, I’m the exact opposite, and I pride myself on my diplomacy and ability to teach folks something new if they’re willing to learn it. I’ll never claim to be the world’s best fly fishing guide but I know my business well and could write a book on bonefishing. In fact, I’m halfway through writing my book on bonefishing. Look for it in 2010. In the meantime, come on down to Vieques and I’ll show you what I know about this sport and won’t give you a hard time if you blow an easy shot or two. But do your part and you’ll probably go home successful.